Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Perks with age

 

 At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell.

Someone had to remind me, 
So I'm reminding you, too. 
Don't laugh.... It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50
 
Or being over 60 
And 
heading towards 
70 or beyond! 

1.
 
Kidnappers are not very 
interested in you.

2.
 
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.
 

3.
 
No one expects you to run -- 
anywhere.

4.
 
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 
'Did I wake you?'


5.
 
People no longer view you as a 
hypochondriac.

6.
 
There is nothing left 
to learn the hard way.

7.
 
Things you buy now will
never wear out.

8.
 
You can eat 
supper at 4 PM.

9.

You can live without sex 
but not your glasses.

10.
 
You get into heated arguments 
about pension plans.

11.
 
You no longer think of speed limits 
as a challenge.

12.
 
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter who walks
 
into the room. 

13.
 
You sing along 
with elevator music.

14.
 
Your eyes won't get 
much worse.

15
. 
Your investment in health insurance 
is finally beginning to pay off. 

16.
 
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists 
than the national weather service.

17.
 
Your secrets are safe with your friends 
because they can't remember them either.

18.
 
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to 
a manageable size. 

19.
 
You can't remember 
who sent you this list. 

And you notice these are all
 
in big print 
for your convenience. 

Forward this to everyone
 
You can remember 
Right now! 

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER
 , 
Under any circumstances, 
Take a sleeping pill and a laxative on 
The same night!

=

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