The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all. DIVORCE AGREEMENT

 

                     
  The  person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope  for us after all.
  
  DIVORCE  AGREEMENT
  
  
  THIS  IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON,  A STUDENT! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
  
  Dear  American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and  Obama supporters, et al: 
  
  We  have stuck together    since  the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest  election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we  tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations,  but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
  
  Our  two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is  right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and  chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own  way.
  
  Here  is our separation agreement:
  
  --Our  two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a  similar portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our  two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be  relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly  divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate  tastes.
  
  --We  don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
  
  --You  are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
  
  --Since  you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the  military.
  
  --We'll  take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go  with wind, solar and biodiesel.
  
  --You  can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however,  responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three  of them.
  
  --We'll  keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart  and Wall Street.
  
  --You  can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless,  homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
  
  --We'll  keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and  rednecks.
  
  --We'll  keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and  Hollywood.
  
  --You  can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade  and hammer places that threaten us.
  
  --You  can have the peaceniks and war protesters.
  
  --  When  our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them  security.
  
  --We'll  keep our Judeo-Christian values.
  
  --You  are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and  Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be  paying the bill.
  
  --We'll  keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take  every Volt and Leaf you can find.
  
  --You  can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing  doctors.
  
  --We'll  keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National  Anthem."
  
  --I'm  sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World  to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
  
  --We'll  practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up  poverty your best shot.
  
  --Since  it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our  flag.
  
  Would  you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like-minded  liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit  delete.  In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think  about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
  
  Sincerely,
  
  John  J. Wall
  
  Law  Student and an American
  
  P.S.   Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen,  Barbara Streisand, ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.
  
  P.S.S.   And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our  country.
  
  Forward  This Every Time You Get It!  Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It  Will Start Sinking In!