Discovery of plant 'nourishing gene' brings hope for increased crop seed yield and food security

Discovery of plant 'nourishing gene' brings hope for increased crop seed yield and food security

Jesus in a Restaurant

  A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him. The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, & asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat." The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold glass of wine?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of wine. "On my bill," he said loudly. As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door. Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door. Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability!"    

New culprit discovered in T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia

New culprit discovered in T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia

Honeybee deaths linked to seed insecticide exposure

Honeybee deaths linked to seed insecticide exposure

Offsetting global warming: Molecule in Earth's atmosphere could 'cool the planet'

Offsetting global warming: Molecule in Earth's atmosphere could 'cool the planet'

Murdock: Economic freedom declines in U.S. | ScrippsNews

Murdock: Economic freedom declines in U.S. | ScrippsNews

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT   These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:   FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! ___________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. ________________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. _______________________________________________________ COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. ________________________________________________________ JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. _____________________________________________________________ WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ___________________________________________________________ And the WINNER is...   FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.   (Statement of the Century)  ___________________________________________________________   Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.   "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" ____________________________________________________________     Children Are Quick TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.   (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH   Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.