Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Lovemaking Tips For Seniors!!!
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.


3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)


4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.


5. Write partners name on your hand in case you can't remember.


6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.


7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.


8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf, too.


9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!


10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
 

'OLD' IS WHEN...
 
Your sweetie says, 'Lets go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'


'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
 
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
 
You are cautioned to slow down by the
 doctor instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
..... 
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.


'OLD' IS WHEN...

Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
 
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.


'OLD' IS WHEN...
 
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
   
This is something everyone should know about -- it's not political -- it's about our congress.   Only 2 minutes.



 

Worth two minutes to listen to regardless of your party affiliation.  
  
Watch the following PLEASE! 

 
http://youtu.be/svGDZOW-brA
 

From Gadhafi to Benghazi

From Gadhafi to Benghazi

Responding To America’s Number One Threat | CNSNews.com

Responding To America’s Number One Threat | CNSNews.com
More Soldiers Killed Under Obama's Presidency In Afghanistan Than Under Bush's 8 Years!!
On Mon, Sep 17, 2012 at 5:30 PM, Gary wrote:
I'D Like TO SEE THE SOURCE OF THIS BEFORE I PASS IT ON. GOT A REFERENCE?

Developing a Standard and Spirit of Excellence

Fresh Manna
by Pastor Tim Burt
  Forward this email to a friend

Some time ago, I had a finish carpenter remodeling our three season porch. I had been told he was the best. They were not exaggerating. This gentleman could do amazing things with finish carpentry work. He took what might have been an ordinary room, instead turning it into an elegant room with his finish work. He standard for excellence in his work was amazing. I know he often takes more time that the cost of the job would pay him. It never hinders him from hitting his high standard of excellent craftsmanship.

Upon the finishing of the carpentry work, I hired a young man who was highly recommended to do the painting. Because of the detail in the finish work, I needed a special kind of paint and technique to be done. I was awed by the level of skill and diligence and attention to detail in his work. His work was so superior to anyone else’s I had ever seen, that it amazed me. (I at one time owned a painting company so I knew good work from bad.) This young man's dedication to his craft will serve him well in life.

How does great skill come? I believe it starts with a purity of heart in wanting to give the best and caring more about the work than the money. This is probably why most artists and craftsman aren’t rich. They take such great time in their work that it’s difficult for them to charge the value the level of their work deserves - at least until their reputation is established. Then it will reward them handsomely. My experience has been that most people don’t pay attention to the details and don’t know good work from okay work.

People operating in this level of skill and craftsmanship are way too few. For many people in business, it’s just about getting in there, get the job done, and get out with the money. The quality and work may easily be substandard and they don’t really care. 

I believe that God has called us as Christians, to have a high standard for our work, no matter what it is we do. Careful and diligent work will always bring reward in the long run. Proverbs 10:4 says, “He who has a slack hand becomes poor, But the hand of the diligent makes rich.“Do we have it within us to be skilled at what we do? If you tell me you are a Christian then the answer is yes!

God, by His Spirit, gives us wisdom to learn our skill, and the ability to comprehend and understand what it takes to do the best work. The Lord will help us with witty and creative ideas. If we will yield to Him, He will develop us as men and women with highly developed skills and ability. His integrity formed in us will keep us from letting money delude our work ethic and standard of excellence. You can see that excellence starts with yielding to God and letting His Holy Spirit work in you.Exodus 31:1-5. “Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: "See, I have called by name Bezalel... And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold, in silver, in bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of workmanship."

God-given desires are deposited within us to help lead us toward things we truly enjoy doing. As we patiently but diligently develop those skills and abilities, they will eventually bring reward and blessing to us and glory to God as we rightly represent Him. Some people will forfeit the very thing God has put in them because of their love and drive for money or impatience in perfecting them. I think most people inwardly know that doing something you love and enjoy, brings a satisfaction and pleasure from doing it that is worth more than any fleeting pleasure money can bring.

Don’t get me wrong. People do need to make an income and I am all for people doing their best and making a good income. Sometimes skills are practiced and developed on the job and they get paid while they are developing them. That’s great. Others will have to develop them outside of their job. The effort made will be worth the result in the long run. When one works to perfect his/her skills and abilities diligently, good things will follow - as we read, ”But the hand of the diligent makes rich.“

In everything we do, God desires that we develop a spirit of excellence and use our skills and abilities to glorify Him!Does God see and know our diligent efforts? Absolutely! He is your source of perfecting the very gifts and abilities He has placed within you. They will lead to personal increase and a life you enjoy living!

Hebrews 6:10-12 “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt
Upcoming Stimulus Money



 


 
 
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.


This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..


* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...


* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos...


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)



Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
  r

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