Mexico's Drug War: Persisting Violence and a New President

Mexico's Drug War: Persisting Violence and a New President

FARTING AT TIFFANY'S



A LADY WALKS INTO TIFFANY'S .. SHE LOOKS AROUND, SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND BRACELET AND WALKS OVER TO INSPECT IT...

AS SHE BENDS OVER TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY, SHE UNEXPECTEDLY FARTS...



VERY EMBARRASSED, SHE LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY TO SEE IF ANYONE NOTICED HER LITTLE WOOPS AND PRAYS THAT A SALESPERSON WAS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR...



AS SHE TURNS AROUND, HER WORST NIGHTMARE MATERIALIZES IN THE FORM OF A SALESMAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HER...

GOOD LOOKING AS WELL .. COOL AS A CUCUMBER, HE DISPLAYS ALL OF THE QUALITIES ONE WOULD EXPECT OF A PROFESSIONAL IN A STORE LIKE TIFFANY'S...



HE POLITELY GREETS THE LADY WITH, 'GOOD DAY, MADAM .. HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY???



BLUSHING AND UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT STILL HOPING THAT THE SALESMAN SOMEHOW MISSED HER LITTLE 'INCIDENT', SHE ASKS, 'SIR, WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS LOVELY BRACELET ??'



HE ANSWERS, "MADAM .. IF YOU FARTED JUST LOOKING AT IT - YOU'RE GOING TO SHIT WHEN I TELL YOU THE PRICE



=

The Best Layoff Letter Ever

No wonder this guy is the boss, he is sharp!
You can't be any fairer than this guy...

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.

But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did.

I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.

I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change......, so I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic."

Wal-Mart vs. Morons

This is not a Republican or Democrat message


I know lots of folks don't like Wal-Mart,
but this is fascinating.



PLEASE, READ THIS TO THE END. IT IS VERY INTERESTING!!!

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons (US Govt.)


1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at WalMart Every hour of every day.


2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!


3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St.
Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.


4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger
+ Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.


5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's
largest private employer, and most speak English.


6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.


7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway
combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.


8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.


9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.


10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA
of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000
more than it had five years ago.


11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences
will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is
approximately 6.5 Billion.)


12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.


You may think that I am complaining, but I am
really laying the ground work for suggesting
that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run
Wal-Mart to fix the economy.


This should be read and understood by all Americans
Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!


To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature
It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:


a.. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years
to get it right and it is broke.


b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it
right and it is broke.

c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have
had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.


d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right;
$1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the
poor" and they only want more.


e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965.
You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.


f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have
had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.


g.. The Department of Energy was created
in 1977 to lessen our dependence
on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000
employees with a budget of $24 billion
a year and we import more oil than ever
before. You had 32 years to get it right
and it is an abysmal failure.


You have FAILED in every "government service"
you have shoved down our throats while
overspending our tax dollars.


AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??


Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated.
Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our
"duly elected' (they never read anything) and their
staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND

I know what's wrong. We have lost our
minds to "Political Correctness" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong
with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors,
Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,???????
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti ,
Chile , and Turkey ..And now Pakistan ........previous
home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS
to say nothing about the handouts to ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!


Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income'
receive no aid nor do they get any breaks��


AMERICA : a country where we have homeless without
shelter, children going to bed hungry, elderly going
without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without
treatment -etc,etc.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same
support they give to other countries. Sad isn't it?
What happened to the old rule, "Charity begins at home"?
Another value we have discarded thanks to our elected officials... both parties!

99% of people won't have the guts to forward this.


I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did "United Saves America "

OUR FIRST HOOKER



A new standard in First Lady fashion. My God, Jackie Kennedy must be rolling over in her grave. I also wonder what the Bushes thought after seeing this???

$1,596,899.49 to attend a one day national event dressed like a hooker.

Many thanks to the 51% that voted them back in!

Your Teeshirts for the Next 4 Years

Particularly like the last.

My Bank Laughed When I asked It to Raise My Debt Ceiling

My Bank Laughed When I ask It to Raise My Debt Ceiling



University of California Spends $7.65 Million on Class Taken by One Person



New York Gun Thieves Guided By "Gun Map"

Obama and Holder Make Me Nostalgic For Malcolm X

'Population Bomb' Scientist Predicts the End of Humanity
.

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