SM1's BLOG 4 U: AN AGGREGATION OF CONSERVATIVE VIEWS, NEWS, SOME HUMOR, & SCIENCE TOO! ... "♂, ♀, *, †, ∞"
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Understanding Engineers
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Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."
Help Save the Boy Scouts.......
Dear friends,
Homosexual activists are aggressively targeting the Boy Scouts of America attempting to strong-arm them into amending their membership policies to include gays.
The Boy Scouts of America has a long-standing policy of not admitting homosexuals believing it would be a distraction to the mission of the Scouts. In fact, they write in their membership policy "same-sex attraction should be introduced and discussed outside of its program with parents, caregivers, or spiritual advisers at the appropriate time and in the right setting."
They conclude that the purpose of Scouting is not to "introduce or discuss" these topics.
I have just signed a national petition supporting the BSA's right to set their own policies and govern as they see fit, and am urging BSA officials to stand firm against this latest attack by pro-homosexual activists.
I urge you to do the same by clicking here:
http://www.grassfire.com/252/petition.asp?PID=39361598&ref_id=20921&NID=1
In response to a massive petition delivery by pro-homosexual activists said to include 275,000 citizens, Grassfire Nation officials are moving to counter this effort by mobilizing at least as many who support the Scouts. They will deliver petitions to the BSA headquarters as they reach their goal.
Again, please take action with me by clicking here:
http://www.grassfire.com/252/petition.asp?PID=39361598&ref_id=20921&NID=1
Sincerely,
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