Sample Living Will (this is funny LIVING WILL FORM I,  ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive  indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put  in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade  biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested  in simply running up the bills. If after a reasonable amount of time  passes, and I fail to ask for: (Check appropriate items) ______a Martini ______a  Margarita ____ a Scotch and soda ______a Bloody Mary or a beer ______a Gin and  Tonic _______a Glass of Chardonnay ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs  ______the TV remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______the sports  page______ Sex Or______Chocolate ........... It should be presumed that I  won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby  instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in  the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans  Jazz Funeral Band to come and do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my  friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have  had. Signature:__________________________ Date:  _________________ *P.S.: I hear that in Ireland  there is a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier, and they have a  lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes.  If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE pass it  on. Amendment #1: Should I  become incapacitated as described above, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PULL THE  PLUG until after I have voted against Barack Obama by absentee ballot in the  November 2012 election. Signature:__________________________  Date: __________________ Amendment #2: If Barack  Obama accidentally gets re- elected just KINDLY PULL THE PLUG AS SOON AS  POSSIBLE !!! Signature:__________________________  Date: __________________

"JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT"
           I hope you get a smile out of this one. (I don't care what party you  like, this one's funny!!)
           A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and  asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"   The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give  Jesus a cup of coffee, on him
        The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He  shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a  cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that  Jesus, over there?"
         The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of  hot tea, "My treat."
        The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.  He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey!   How's  about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?    The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.

        As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and  said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength  come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
        Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness,  you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the  door.
       Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.   The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me .... I'm on  disability."

 Obama video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZgQhnNRSuw&feature=player_embedded

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'Twas the night before elections

And all through the town

Tempers were flaring

Emotions all up and down!

 

I, in my bathrobe

With a cat in my lap

Had cut off the TV

Tired of political crap.

 

When all of a sudden

There arose such a noise

I peered out of my window

Saw Obama and his boys

 

They had come for my wallet

They wanted my pay

To give to the others

Who had not worked a day!

 

He snatched up my money

And quick as a wink

Jumped back on his bandwagon

As I gagged from the stink

 

He then rallied his henchmen

Who were pulling his cart

I could tell they were out

To tear my country apart!

 

'On Fannie, on Freddie,

On Biden and Ayers!

On Acorn, On Pelosi'

He screamed at the pairs!

 

They took off for his cause

And as he flew out of sight

I heard him laugh at the nation

Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

 

So I leave you to think

On this one final note-

IF YOU DON'T WANT SOCIALISM

GET OUT THERE & VOTE!!!!

 

Quit paying your insurance premiums. Free health care is here!   The doctor will see you now.