Sample Living Will (this is funny LIVING WILL FORM I,  ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive  indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put  in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade  biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested  in simply running up the bills. If after a reasonable amount of time  passes, and I fail to ask for: (Check appropriate items) ______a Martini ______a  Margarita ____ a Scotch and soda ______a Bloody Mary or a beer ______a Gin and  Tonic _______a Glass of Chardonnay ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs  ______the TV remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______the sports  page______ Sex Or______Chocolate ........... It should be presumed that I  won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby  instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in  the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans  Jazz Funeral Band to come and do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my  friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have  had. Signature:__________________________ Date:  _________________ *P.S.: I hear that in Ireland  there is a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier, and they have a  lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes.  If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE pass it  on. Amendment #1: Should I  become incapacitated as described above, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PULL THE  PLUG until after I have voted against Barack Obama by absentee ballot in the  November 2012 election. Signature:__________________________  Date: __________________ Amendment #2: If Barack  Obama accidentally gets re- elected just KINDLY PULL THE PLUG AS SOON AS  POSSIBLE !!! Signature:__________________________  Date: __________________