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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

IRS scandal hearing: Darrell Issa says Lois Lerner lost her rights - POLITICO.com

King and Queen Obama to Host Another White House Concert Despite Sequester and Scandals

Hello Libtards....Adopt a terrorist...Feel Good, Less Guilt!

A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government,
complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in
Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response
to her letter correspondence.

She received back the following reply:

National Defense Headquarters
M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg.,15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa,ON K1A 0K2
Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment
of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were
subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being
held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard
loud and clear here in Ottawa You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns
of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department
of National Defense, to be called 'Libertarians Accept Responsibility for Killers'
program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert
one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been
selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your
residence in Toronto next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared
for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint!

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct
weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate
with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath
and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his
'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.
We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted
terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human
life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask
him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. Please advise any Jewish
friends,neighbors or relatives about your house guest,as he might get agitated or even
violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide
variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to
keep those items locked up,unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since
he views females as a subhuman form of property thereby having no rights,including
refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he
has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with
the new dress code that he will "recommend" as more appropriate attire.

I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time.
Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as
described in your letter.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us
informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good
care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.

Good luck and God bless you,

Cordially,

Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense
----------------------------------------------

BLOODY BRILLIANT !

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again ...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n..): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightie, gown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

What Did Apple Do Wrong?

05/22/2013

Members of Congress called Apple executives to testify on Capitol Hill yesterday. Why? Because the company makes money overseas, and some Senators want to get their hands on the cash.

A Senate subcommittee accused the company of “shifting” profits from the U.S. to other countries and avoiding paying taxes.

But Apple pays its U.S. taxes. Heritage tax expert Curtis Dubay said the earnings aren’t “shifted,” because “it’s not income that’s earned here in the U.S.”

“I can’t go down to the Apple store here in Washington, buy an iPad, and have Apple then ‘shift’ that income abroad,” Dubay said.

The Senators were up in arms about Apple sales in Ireland. The issue was the company’s foreign income earned from all those iPhones and iPods that people around the world are buying.

The reason the Senate feigned indignation over an issue that had nothing to do with the U.S. is that some Members want Apple to pay more U.S. tax on all that foreign cash. They want Apple to bring all of that profit back into the U.S. and pay the U.S. corporate tax rate—the world’s highest—on it. But as long as we keep the U.S. rate the highest in the world, Apple and other multinational businesses are going to keep their foreign income abroad.

Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) said it was offensive that Senator Carl Levin (D-MI) called in the leaders of a company that is trying to do right by its shareholders. He said:

Instead of Apple executives, we should have brought in here today a giant mirror, okay? So we could look at the reflection of Congress, because this problem is solely and completely created by the awful tax code. If you want to assign blame, the committee needs to look in this mirror and see who created the mess.

Apple—and any other company that does business outside the U.S.—isn’t doing anything illegal to minimize its tax liability. In fact, America’s high corporate tax rate drives companies to do more business overseas.

Not only that, but “we’re the only country that effectively taxes our businesses on income they earn around the world,” Heritage’s Dubay said. “They’re keeping that income abroad because we add that extra layer of tax.”

What to do? Other developed countries have been cutting their corporate tax rates for 20 years. That’s what Congress needs to be looking into, as well as moving away from our “worldwide system” of taxing foreign income—not putting on business-bashing hearings for show. Fortunately, House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp (R-MI) has been doing that necessary and difficult work.

As Senator Paul wrote in an op-ed for Rare:

If you want more money to be earned in the United States—make profit welcome here. Until that time arrives, count me out of any government dog and pony shows that badger business.

Read the Morning Bell and more en español every day at Heritage Libertad.

Quick Hits:

“A top IRS official in the division that reviews nonprofit groups willinvoke the 5th Amendment and refuse to answer questions before a House committee,” reports the LA Times.

A Senate committee approved the Gang of Eight immigration bill last night. It will go to the Senate floor after Memorial Day.

We haven't forgotten about Benghazi. Watch our powerful video and help us spread the word.

Anthony Weiner, the former congressman who stepped out of public life after his lewd messages to young women were exposed, is now running for mayor of New York City.

Have a question about the debt ceiling, Benghazi, or the IRS? Get the inside scoop today at 11:30 a.m. ET from the champions of conservatism in the U.S. House.

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Biden: 'Barackâ€™s Learning to Speak Without a Teleprompter'

LOL...LOL...LOL...! Biden: 'Barackâ€™s Learning to Speak Without a Teleprompter'

Senate panel OKs tax-welfare benefits for newly legal immigrants - Washington Times
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/20/senate-panel-oks-tax-welfare-benefits-for-newly-le/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Heritage%2BHotsheet