George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan,was going up to bed, when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light,
but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked
"Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking
into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy.
You should lock your doors and an officer will
be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and
counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because
there were people stealing things from my shed.
Well, you don't have to worry about them now because
I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are
eating them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, aSWAT Team,
a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an
Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence,
and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George,
"I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said
there was nobody available!"
(True Story)
I LOVE IT!
Don't mess with old people.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD , AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE .
Eye opener... Wake Up America!!!
This is an image of a sales receipt from Cabela's, a popular
sporting goods store with almost 50 locations throughout the US.
The 2.3% Medical Excise Tax that began on January 1st is supposed to be "hidden" from
the consumer, but it's been brought to the public's attention by hunting and fishing
store Cabela's who have refused to hide it and are showing it as a separate line item tax
on their receipts, the email states.I did some research and found directly from the IRS's website information that PROVES
this to be true and an accurate portrayal of something hidden in Obamacare that I was
not aware of! Now being skeptical of this I went to the IRS website and found this!Q1. What is the medical device excise tax?A1. Section 4191 of the Internal Revenue Code imposes an excise tax on the sale of
certain medical devices by the manufacturer or importer of the device.
Q2. When does the tax go into effect?A2. The tax applies to sales of taxable medical devices after Dec. 31, 2012.
Q3. How much is the tax?A3. The tax is 2.3 percent of the sale price of the taxable medical device.
See Chapter 5 of IRS Publication 510, Excise Taxes, and Notice 2012-77 for additional
information on the determination of sale price.So being more curious, I clicked on "Chapter 5 of IRS Publication 510."Chapter Five http://www.irs.gov/publications/p510/ch05.htmlAnd what do I find under "MEDICAL DEVICES" under "MANUFACTURERS TAXES"?
The following discussion of manufacturers taxesApplies to the tax on:Sport fishing equipment;Fishing rods and fishing poles;Electric outboard motors;Fishing tackle boxes;Bows, quivers, broadheads, and points;Arrow shafts;Coal;Taxable tires;Gas guzzler automobiles; andVaccines.
DID YOU KNOW THAT A TIRE IS A MEDICAL DEVICE ?You are really stupid if you believe that the Affordable Care Act is all about
health care. It truly appears to be nothing more than a bill Laden with a
whole lot of taxes that we the people have yet to be aware of.I am still incredulous that this can go on.
Where is our press?
Remember?
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS ...'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?''We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,'I informed him.'All the food was slow.''C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?''It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. ! 'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears &Roebuck.Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a..m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.Pizzas were not delivered to our home But milk was.All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers-- my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildrenJust don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?MEMORIES from a friend :My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.How many do you remember?Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.Ignition switches on the dashboard.Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.Real ice boxes.Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.Older Than Dirt Quiz :Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.1. Blackjack chewing gum2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water3. Candy cigarettes4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers7. Party lines on the telephone8 Newsreels before the movie9. P.F. Flyers10. Butch wax11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels... [if you were fortunate])12. Peashooters13. Howdy Doody14. 45 RPM records15. S& H green stamps16. Hi-fi's17. Metal ice trays with lever18. Mimeograph paper19. Blue flashbulb20. Packards21. Roller skate keys22. Cork popguns23. Drive-ins24. Studebakers25. Wash tub wringers26. Milking 40 head of cows by hand27. Double runner ice skates that attached to your boots.If you remembered 0-5 = You're still youngIf you remembered 6-10 = You are getting olderIf you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
A Doctor's Lecture...
> -------------------------
>
> A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The
> material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
> most of us sitting here, years ago.
>
> Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
> Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be
> disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm
> caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one
> thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or
> will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
> causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating
> it?"
>
>
> After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the
> front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
>
>
Come Again...?
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and
>
> buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
> >
> A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
>
> The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
>
> He replied, "They had avocados."
>
> If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!
>
> Men will get it the first time.
>
> My work is done here.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Water in the carburetor
>
>
> WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
>
> HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "
>
> WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
>
> HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.
>
> Where's the car?
>
> WIFE: "In the pool"
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> _A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC_
>
>
> THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF
> THE MOST WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.
>
> 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
>
> That's scary.
>
> It means 75% are running around untreated.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for
> their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
> He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
>
>
> Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
> The next day Meg went shopping.
>
>
> Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the
> other end. "Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
>
>
> Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a
> bell,
> but there's one thing I don't understand though..."
>
>
> "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
>
>
> "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> HE MUST PAY
>
>
> Husband and wife had a tiff.
>
>
> Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am
> coming to live with you."
>
>
> Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming
> to live with you.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:
> "And God promised men that good and obedient wives
> would be found in all corners of the earth."
>
>
> Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and
> laughed and laughed!
>
>
>
>
ANOTHER CROTCH SALUTE...Who voted for this monkey?
CROW KILLS...?
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
The #Government #Shut-Down, Real Facts
It's incredible that 42% of Americans think that this unqualified, incompetent, dishonorable, ego-driven fraud is doing a good job. Take a moment. Admit it to yourself. You know who his supporters are. They are the people that YOU support---financially.
Did you notice whom Obama threatened when he wasn't getting his way on raising the debt ceiling? He threatened not to pay:
- Social Security Retirees
- Military Retirees
- Social Security
- Disability
and
-Federal Retirees.
Now let this sink in really well...
- He did not threaten to stop payments to illegal aliens.
- He did not threaten to take frivolous benefits such as Internet access away from violent inmates.
- He did not offer to fire some of the thousands of unnecessary federal employees that he hired.
- He did not offer to cut down on his or his wife's frivolous gallivanting around--- $20 Million already spent on family vacations. (One Million on a FL golf outing). All our money...why not?
- He didn't threaten farm subsidies.
- He did not threaten not to pay the senators and representatives or any of their staff.
- He did not threaten to take benefits away from welfare recipients or to stop the free cell phones they get.
- He did not threaten the food stamp programs.
- He did not threaten to reduce payments in foreign aid.
- He did not threaten to cut back on anything that involves his base voters.
- The list could go on and on. He is in full political mode!
Why are we allowing this person to destroy this wonderful country with his selfishness and his lies? Have WE lost our blooming minds!!!!!!!!His type of change is killing our country. He needs to be stopped. Do not forget about his tactics when it's election time 2014. Get out and Vote in the mid-term election - 2014. Support the people in the House and Senate that are willing to cut taxes and spending. Let's make 2014 - the beginning of a turn-around. Forget change. We want our $$$$$$$$$ back and we want to take our country back!
We the people are coming.
Only 86% will send this on. Should be 100%. What will you do?
#Medicare Part G
st
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home care available for you.
So what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years, or older, a gun (G) and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot all four bullets.
Of course, this means you'll be sent to prison, where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning and all the health care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now.
And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what???!!
Plus you'll get to see all your friends everyday!!!
46 #Senators voted to throw away 2nd amendment rights!
This treaty would have included all guns, hand guns, hunting rifles, shotguns, antique collectables, all firearms.
Does anyone believe the criminal element in our society will abide by a treaty with the UN?
Subject: 46 Senators voted to throw away our 2nd amendment rights!A basic lack of understanding of sovereignty. Plus a good dose of stupid.Which 46 Senators Voted to Destroy Us?In a 53-46 vote, the Senate narrowly passed a measure that will stop the United States from entering into the United Nations Arms Trade Treaty.The Statement of Purpose from the Bill reads:"To uphold Second Amendment rights and prevent the United States from entering into the United Nations Arms Trade Treaty."The U.N. Small Arms Treaty, which has been championed by the Obama Administration, would have effectively placed a global ban on the import and export of small firearms.The ban would have affected all private gun owners in the U.S. and had language that would have implemented an international gun registry on all private guns and ammo.Astonishingly, 46 out of our 100 United States Senators were willing to give away our Constitutional rights to a foreign power.Here are the 46 senators who voted to give your rights to the U.N.44 DEMOCRATS/2 INDEPENDENTSBaldwin (D-WI)Baucus (D-MT)Bennett (D-CO)Blumenthal (D-CT)Boxer (D-CA)Brown (D-OH)Cantwell (D-WA)Cardin (D-MD)Carper (D-DE)Casey (D-PA)Coons (D-DE)Cowan (D-MA)Durbin (D-IL)Feinstein (D-CA)Franken (D-MN)Gillibrand (D-NY)Harkin (D-IA)Hirono (D-HI)Johnson (D-SD)Kaine (D-VA)King (I-ME)Klobuchar (D-MN)Landrieu (D-LA)Leahy (D-VT)Levin (D-MI)McCaskill (D-MO)Menendez (D-NJ)Merkley (D-OR)Mikulski (D-MD)Murphy (D-CT)Murray (D-WA)Nelson (D-FL)Reed (D-RI)Reid (D-NV)Rockefeller (D-WV)Sanders (I-VT)Schatz (D-HI)Schumer (D-NY)Shaheen (D-NH)Stabenow (D-MI)Udall (D-CO)Udall (D-NM)Warner (D-VA)Warren (D-MA)Whitehouse (D-RI)Wyden (D-OR)Folks: This needs to go viral. These Senators voted to let the UN take OUR guns.They need to lose their next election.We have been betrayed.46 Senators Voted to Give your 2nd Amendment Constitutional Rights to the U.N.Please send this to SOMEONE!
In 1955...
thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?
If they raise the minimum wage
to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.
When I first started driving, who
would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon? Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.
I'm afraid to send my kids to the
movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying "DAMN" in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either "HELL" or "DAMN" in it.
I read the other day where some
scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call "astronauts" preparing for it down in Texas.
Did you see where some baseball
player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball!? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President...
I never thought I'd see the day
all our kitchen appliances would be electric; they're even making electric typewriters now.
It's too bad things are so tough
nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.
It won't be long before young
couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.
I'm afraid the Volkswagen car
is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.
Thank goodness I won't live to
see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.
The "Fast Food" restaurant is
convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
There is no sense going on short
trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.
No one can afford to be sick
anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.
If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.
Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on!
Be sure and send it to your kids and grand kids, too.
One sad reason why #England did not join us against #Syria
The question that needs to be asked, will our country survive with these egotistical Progressive Liberal Democrats running our country???? Another slap in the face of one of our best allies. One sad reason why England did not join us against Syria President Obama was a no-show at Margaret Thatcher's funeral despite being invited to attend and thus snubbing England 's invitation as a representative of the American people. What a shameful display. Joe Biden also refused, as did Hillary Clinton. The British took note of the fact that the Obama administration chose not to send a single senior member of his Cabinet to Margaret Thatcher's funeral. In fact, no actively serving, elected Democrat attended Lady Thatcher’s funeral. By the way, former Secretary of State George Schultz (R) went to the funeral! The Obama Administration did, however, send a formal delegation of 14 to the funeral of Socialist Dictator Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Need any more RED flags?????? Pass this around, a lot of people have no idea of what’s going on and many don'tcare. Far too many in the public wrongly rely on the news they get from theliberal press like the New York Times and TV Networks like ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, CNN and MSNBC. |
Quote of the Year!!! Hellooooooo. America!
Judge Judy to Prostitute:
"When did you realize you were raped?"Prostitute (wiping away tears): "When the check bounced."The American Public will soon reach the same conclusion
=
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