Thursday, May 26, 2016

I did not know this...did you?

I did not know this...did you?
Many thought that Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) and President Obama seemed overly friendly during the president’s tour of damage done by Superstorm Sandy . Turns out Pres. Obama and Chris Christie were childhood friends!

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Teachers & Cops ...

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"(MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."(National Crime Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

WHEN GOD IS BUSY...

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!

A United States Marine was taking some college courses

Between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in

Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor,

Who was an avowed atheist.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform."

"I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his
Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the
Platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "GOD WAS BUSY TODAY PROTECTING AMERICAN SOLDIERS WHO ARE PROTECTING YOUR RIGHT TO SAY STUPID SHIT AND ACT LIKE AN IDIOT. SO HE SENT ME."

The classroom erupted in cheers!

Republican v Hillary Truck...

I stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the
New F-150 aluminum pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a
Test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before
They become old.

The salesperson (a nice looking, black lady wearing a “Hillary
For President” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next
To me, describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options.
The seats were of particular interest. She explained
That the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter
And directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

   Feeling like messing with her, I mentioned that this must be a
Republican truck. Looking a bit angry, she asked why I thought it was a Republican
Truck. I explained that if it were a Hillary truck, the seats would
Just blow smoke up your ass year-round.

  I had to walk back to the dealership.

She had no sense of humor.

Monday, May 23, 2016

PRAYER REQUEST! ACLU has filed a suit to end prayer from the military completely. They're making Great progress...

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prayer request

ACLU has filed a suit to end prayer from the
military completely. They're making Great progress..
The Navy Chaplains can no longer mention Jesus' name in
Prayer thanks to the ACLU and others.

I'm not breaking this One.

If I get it a 1000 times, I'll forward it a 1000 times!
Let us Pray.

I THINK THAT I AM A TOUGH PERSON,
BUT I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THIS PICTURE.
I CAN'T HELP IT.

Prayer chain For our Military... Don't break it! We owe them Sooo Much!

Pray for our soldiers, Don't break it!
Please send this on after a short prayer

Dear Lord hold, our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them & their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of
need. In Jesus name,

Prayer Request:
When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world.
There is nothing attached. Just send this to people in your address book.
Do not let it stop with you.
Of all the gifts you could give a Marine, Soldier, Sailor, Airman, & others deployed in harm's way, prayer is the very best one.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR PASSING THIS ON!

Saturday, May 21, 2016

LOL...Climate Alarmists Fools are off their meds again!

Warmist warns if climate ‘ignorant’ Trump is elected

Posted: 21 May 2016 09:41 AM PDT

http://ecowatch.com/2016/05/21/trump-paris-climate-agreement/

Trump to cause seas to rise?! Climate activist warns Florida property owners: If Trump elected ‘sell now while sea levels still leave you something to sell’

Posted: 21 May 2016 09:06 AM PDT

Climate activist Tom Burke, the former head of Friends of the Earth UK, and currently chairman of E3G, a group which works to accelerate the transition to a “low-carbon” economy, has a warning to property owners in Florida if presumptive nominee Donald Trump is elected President. A Trump presidency “sends a clear signal to people who have [...]

Warmist declares: ‘Trump Cannot Derail Paris UN Climate Deal’

Posted: 21 May 2016 08:32 AM PDT

Trump Cannot Derail Paris Climate Deal http://ecowatch.com/2016/05/21/trump-paris-climate-agreement/ “Trump can repudiate the agreement, but it won’t make a scrap of difference to the… — gReader Pro

Hypocrite! Leo DiCaprio takes private jet to collect environmental award

Posted: 20 May 2016 08:13 PM PDT

http://pagesix.com/2016/05/20/hypocrite-leo-takes-private-jet-to-collect-green-award/ Leo DiCaprio picked up an environmental award in NYC this week — but hypocritically expanded his carbon footprint by 8,000 miles when he obtained the honor, by taking a private jet from Cannes, then flying straight back to France on another jet for a model-packed fund-raiser a night later. DiCaprio was at the [...]

Analysis: NOAA & NASA altering past temperature data to promote ‘global warming’

Posted: 20 May 2016 12:30 PM PDT

In 1978, NOAA showed 0.6 degrees global cooling since 1975 at the surface and in balloon data. The cooling was present in both hemispheres. 1520-0493(1978)106<0755:GTVSMA>2.0.CO;2 The National Academy of Sciences knew about this cooling in 1975. sn1975_climate_change_chilling_possibilities-1.pdf This cooling was seen in the vast majority of US stations and is still present in the untampered US [...]

Analysis: ‘NOAA Temperature Adjustments Are A Farce’

Posted: 20 May 2016 12:26 PM PDT

‘When 32.6% becomes 97%— the bald-faced (consensus) lie that changed the western world’

Posted: 20 May 2016 12:19 PM PDT

What the president was referring to was a 2013 paper by the University of Queensland’s John Cook. In his research, Cook studied 11,994 papers published between 1991 and 2011 that mentioned the search words “global warming” and “global climate change.” Guess what Cook found? Only 32.6% of the papers endorsed the view of anthropogenic (man-made) [...]

Al Gore’s Film 10 Years Later: Warmists gush: ‘The Slideshow That Saved The World’

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:52 AM PDT

Did any of this actually “save the world?” OK, you got us. Ten years after the movie’s release, climate change is still a growing threat and a polarizing issue, with record-breaking heat unable to stop skeptics from tossing snowballs on the Senate floor. But we’re also seeing corporate, political, and societal mobilization against the crisis [...]

La Niña coming? Deep pool of cool water is making its way across tropical Pacific

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:44 AM PDT

Arctic greenery likes warmer world and arctic bacteria eat more carbon for breakfast

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:43 AM PDT

UN ignores Trump comments about dumping Paris climate deal

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:41 AM PDT

Scientific Research Confirms: Increased CO2 Improves Southern Hemisphere Forest Growth

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:39 AM PDT

Plant life across the world has improved and increased profoundly,everywhere, due to the higher levels of atmospheric CO2, in combination with the modest global warming since the Little Ice Age. The most recent study confirming this benefit to the biosphere pinpoints exceptional growth and health for older forests in the Southern Hemisphere – specifically, the Cordilleras [...]

Obama has 3,260 rules in the regulatory pipeline

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:38 AM PDT

NYTimes: Beyond Twitter, Donald Trump’s Views on Climate Change Are Unclear

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:22 AM PDT

10 Years Later, Al Gore Says His Film ‘Underestimated’ Global Warming

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:21 AM PDT

Skeptics Strike Back — GOP Reps Investigate AGs, Eco-Activists Targeting Global Warming Skeptics

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:19 AM PDT

Antarctica’s Totten Glacier may melt in a few hundred years (or not)

Posted: 20 May 2016 11:00 AM PDT

The floating portion of Totten Glacier in East Antarctica may be melting from warm sea water swirling beneath it, making it more vulnerable than previously thought to future melting. That’s according to a new study by scientists at the Imperial College London and institutions in Australia, the US, and New Zealand, and published yesterday in [...]

Kurdish Objectives in Iraq's Political Crisis...

Kurdish Objectives in Iraq's Political Crisis

by: Emily Anagnostos with Patrick Martin

Key Takeaway: Iraqi politics are deadlocked. Several political parties and blocs boycotted the Council of Representatives (CoR) following the Sadrist protesters' first breach of the Green Zone on April 30. The Kurdish Alliance, a bloc that consisted of nearly one-fifth of the CoR, withdrew on May 5. The bloc has now split, and two of its component political parties, the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK) and Gorran, formally reunited on May 14 to create a new bloc. The PUK and Gorran were incentivized by the urgent need for financial assistance to the Kurdistan Regional Government (KRG) and likely by Iranian urging. A loan from the IMF in which Baghdad and the KRG will have a share proved decisive in incentivizing their cohesion. The PUK-Gorran Alliance will therefore likely strengthen ties between Baghdad and Arbil. Their rival, the Kurdistan Democratic Party (KDP), retains ambitions of regional independence and a stranglehold on political power in the KRG. The Kurdistan Democratic Party (KDP) will either have to reintegrate or seek new political partners. The PUK and Gorran will likely eventually return to the CoR. Although they are still negotiating with the KDP, Kurdish parties are unlikely to return the CoR as one entity, ending what had been a significant, cohesive bloc. The new political alliance will nevertheless shift the power dynamics of both Baghdad and Arbil.

Read the rest of this update online

Us Old People, ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?

REALLY

FIRST EXAMPLE:
Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9, or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true . . .)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
(And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour)

SECOND EXAMPLE:
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
And these people vote!
(The lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THIRD EXAMPLE:
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(Keep shuddering!!)

FOURTH EXAMPLE:
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIFTH EXAMPLE:
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
A Brunette, by the way!!

SIXTH EXAMPLE:
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh . . .
It is all true and as I said, These people vote!


Perks of reaching 80 or being over 90 and heading towards 100:

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
11. You can't remember who sent you this list.
12. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

NBA VS NFL Even if you aren't a Sports Fan this is Very Interesting!

****************

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71, I repeat 71,Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related Charges

8 have been arrested! For shoplifting

21currently are defendants in lawsuits,
And

84 have been arrested for drunk driving

In the last year !

Can you guess which organization this is?
Is it the NBA Or NFL?

Give up yet?

Scroll down,

Neither,
it's the 535 members of the
United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out
Hundreds of new laws each Year
Designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Remember, most of them are up for election this year!!!

You gotta pass this one on!