RED SKELTON'S: RECIPE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

 

 

 

 

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail.   For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.  Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.   A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor.   I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.   I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.  So I suggested the kitchen.   We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake.   She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.  Then the mud fell off. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!".      Can't you just hear him say all of these?  I love it. These were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word.   It was just clean and simple fun.  And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.