Perks with age

 

At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell. Someone had to remind me,  So I'm reminding you, too.  Don't laugh.... It is all true! Perks of reaching 50  Or being over 60  And heading towards  70 or beyond!  1.  Kidnappers are not very  interested in you. 2.  In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.  3.  No one expects you to run --  anywhere. 4.  People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,  'Did I wake you?' 5.  People no longer view you as a  hypochondriac. 6.  There is nothing left  to learn the hard way. 7.  Things you buy now will never wear out. 8.  You can eat  supper at 4 PM. 9. You can live without sex  but not your glasses. 10.  You get into heated arguments  about pension plans. 11.  You no longer think of speed limits  as a challenge. 12.  You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks  into the room.  13.  You sing along  with elevator music. 14.  Your eyes won't get  much worse. 15.  Your investment in health insurance  is finally beginning to pay off.  16.  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists  than the national weather service. 17.  Your secrets are safe with your friends  because they can't remember them either. 18.  Your supply of brain cells is finally down to  a manageable size.  19.  You can't remember  who sent you this list.  And you notice these are all  in big print  for your convenience.  Forward this to everyone  You can remember  Right now!  AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Never, NEVER, NEVER ,  Under any circumstances,  Take a sleeping pill and a laxative on  The same night!

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